What will the series be about?
My aim is to get people reading, talking and writing about mental health. I want to help at least one person and let them know they are not ALONE. I want to share my love for books, and how much books helped me through my teenage years with Borderline Personality Disorder and to this day how reading helps me cope, escape reality and explore different worlds and people. Reading is a good source for distraction.
What will you be posting?
- Books Reviews
- Guest posts
- Author Interviews
- Lots of other things
It’s a Huge topic which is very close to my heart… which of course is Mental Health. Now, I won’t write a long drawn story but I have suffered from mental health problems from the ripe age of around 12-14 years old.. Well, that is when it reared its very lovely ugly head. I went un-diagnosed until I had a nervous break down at 18. The lovely doctors just put it down to the old saying ‘ it’s teenage blues‘ I wish it bloody was.
Anyways I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder BPD or also known as Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder EUPD.
For anyone, it is difficult living with a mental illness but more so when you are the one suffering but more importantly when you are repeatedly told it’s nothing. BPD/EUPD is a complicated, confusing, ruthless and downright cruel Disorder to have or live with… Everything you think, You change a million times over and you never truly know who you are or where you belong. You go through a thousand of emotions in a space of a minute.
But one thing, I really want to touch on here… what you think you know or what you have heard about and people with this Disorder.. you are probably so far off the scale.. it slams you straight back in your face. Yes, obviously there is those who have what society thinks of as “typical borderlines” Yano the attention seekers, the ‘psychos‘ etc.
But we are all individuals. And there are other little clusters that come out of the diagnosis ‘Bpd’. The four subtypes are below:
discouraged borderline–includes avoidant, depressive or dependent behaviors
impulsive borderline– includes antisocial or approval-seeking behaviors
petulant borderline– includes passive-aggressive behaviors
self-destructive borderline–includes depressive or self-destructive behaviors
I think I fall into the Discouraged Borderline and Self-Destructive Borderline
Here’s an insight into Discouraged Borderline means:
This is a person who believes that no matter what, they just can’t win. Consequently, he or she may avoid people, believing they will not want to be around him/her. The other extreme is he or she may be overly dependent on other people, hoping to find some sense of self-worth from them. This person may also suffer from symptoms of depression.
And what Self-Destructive Borderline
This person is operating in an Abandoned Child mode. He or she believes that he or she is unworthy of love and affection. He or she believes no one will want anything to do with him/her and behaves accordingly. This may include frantic efforts to avoid the end of or disturbance of any relationship, black-and-white thinking, or unstable sense of self.
Anyway, I really struggled in my teenage years I still do really. So for me reading is my outlet. I have really bad social anxiety and along with my other disabilities. I rarely get out much. Maybe about 3-4 hours a week. So I am at home 24/7 so reading takes me to other places to explore and it makes feel like, I’m not missing out on too much of the real world.
I will leave it there for today, the next post will on Thursday. It will be about the books that got me into reading, why I loved the book etc. Hope to see you there.